Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
