so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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