If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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