Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
