Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I am one with the molecules
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
