at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
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