also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
