WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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