Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize