We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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