Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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