Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
