I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
