thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
