Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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