i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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