she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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