we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i think im in europe. pls send help
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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