I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
