please come you make the beer taste better
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
