Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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