so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
