Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
