u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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