you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
