yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm too high and old for this...
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