I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I look better un-naked...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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