using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
