Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
