Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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