is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so let's talk penis.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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