haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
