everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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