I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize