They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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