Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
