return my video game
Is it because I queefed?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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