I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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