Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
