im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize