You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize