don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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