i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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