You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
