Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
