He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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