we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
