There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
