I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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