when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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