Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
