can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
