Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
