I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
