dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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