she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
be right there i have to get my cape
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
