He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
