I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
