You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
