the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize