i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
