I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Randomize
