She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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