The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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